It is no secret that death is a common eventuality for every human. At some point, the people that we know and love, or even ourselves, will be battling grief following the death of a loved one. During such difficult moments of grief, be it during a Taoist or Buddhist funeral, many people find comfort in words.
However, how do you ensure that your statements do not become redundant despite your good intentions to comfort the bereaved? Here are a few essential tips to guide you towards writing meaningful condolence messages.
1. Personalise your message
The best way to convince someone about your good intentions is to meet them at a personal level. You can find the name of the deceased and mention them in your condolences message. For instance, you could say, “I am sorry to learn of Rebecca’s passing.” This shows that you have taken the time to know about who the deceased is, and offer your condolences to the grieving family.
Another way is to take into account that the deceased could have been a daughter, a son, a sister, a brother, or a spouse. You can personalise your message by giving the deceased a title. For instance, you could say, “I am saddened to learn about the loss of your son, Marcus.”
2. Acknowledge legacy of the deceased
It can be difficult for the grieving family to understand, at the moment, when a loved one has passed and the contributions that they have left behind. Your condolence message could remind them of it.
For instance, you could say, “I am deeply saddened to hear of the loss of your grandfather. He was a wise man who never shied away from sharing his knowledge, and his positive attitude always cheered up those around him.”
3. Do not mention that you know their pain
When sending a condolence message to someone you know, you should not mention how you know what they feel, even though you have experienced the same type of loss before. People handle grief differently, and while you can relate to someone’s grief, you should never claim to know how they feel.
However, you can still show your sympathy and your support by affirming that your friendship or relationship is still strong even in these difficult times. You can acknowledge the pain that they are experiencing in their grief and assure them that you will offer unwavering support. For instance, you could say, “My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know.”
4. Show support even in absence
In recent times, people may often be busy with their work and may not be able to attend funerals or visit the grieving. If you are in such a situation, there are better ways to pass your condolences. For instance, you can make a phone call or send a text message and assure the bereaved that you are thinking about them and that you are holding them close to your heart.
You could also suggest contacting the bereaved in a few weeks, reaching out to them and making time for them.
It is important to note that the process of grief is complicated, and people handle it differently. If you are attending a Buddhist funeral service, you should look to read the situation and follow the tips above to write a meaningful condolence message to the bereaved.
At 1Stop Buddhist Funeral Services, we aim to provide a smooth funeral planning process to help families through a difficult time. If you require aid, assistance or guidance on setting up a funeral, you can seek 1Stop Buddhist Funeral Services for recommendations, arrangements and more.